I was recently in a situation where the question of RL and SL being separate or not was a large concern. Specifically, it was a potentially romantic situation. This person with whom I was considering becoming involved lives their SL in a different way than I do. During conversation, the following was brought up (heavily paraphrased):
There are three general types of SL players:
1. The Roleplayer: They take on an entirely new persona, they may have many alts or characters, each with their own backstory.
2. The Immersionist: Someone who fully becomes their SL character as you see it, and keeps SL and RL strictly seperated. When they login, RL is checked at the door.
3. The Facebookers: The avatar is merely a placeholder, a representation of self like a screen name. They place more value on the mind behing the avatar than the avatar itself.
To which I snarkily replied:
I have everyone down to two categories: Those that know how to adjust their prim attachments, and those that don't!
My snarkiness coming most definitely from the fact that the person (Immersionist) was calling me a Facebooker. The term itself is distasteful, making everything about my avatar and myself sound hollow and shallow somehow. I know that is not the intention of my dear friend, but it certainly did ruffle my feathers! I am more thinking that I am a combination of all three, because who likes to be pigeonholed? Sometimes I RP, and I have a small backstory and personality I put on for that... still me but slightly different. Sometimes I am just Hanners, and the me behind the keyboard becomes Hanners too. Other times my RL intrudes all over my SL, such as when my feelings get involved... which brings us back to my initial paragraph.
Is it possible for someone who lives SL as an extension of their RL to maintain a relationship with someone who leaves their RL behind when they login like a snake shedding it's skin? Personally, I become very emotionally invested, very involved in the people that I meet in SL and in RL. If somone is to become my friend, or more, I care about them, and my caring doesn't end when I log out to go shopping or get in bed. And so I think that for me, it wouldn't be possible to pursue a relationship with this person, or one similar to them. Because I would love them, sure, that's what happens! Girl meets Boy (or other girl), Girl likes Boy, Boy Likes Girl, Girl Dates Boy, Girl Sleeps with Boy, Girl loves Boy, Boy... forgets about girl when he logs out to go to bed and thinks nothing of her until he logs in again. Girl loves Boy whether she is logged in or not. Girl is Sad.
Ok, Sad Girl is rambling, lol! Seriously though, is it possible? The safest decision for me is clearly, to step away. But I am still glad to have met this person and still happy to call them friend, if only my runaway emotions would cool down for a minute. I already went and had my girly "might have been" cry over the situation. I've gained a friend and more, I've gained new insight into a part of second life I wasn't sure I was interested in: romance! I now find myself intrigued with the idea of a SL relationship that stays within the bounds of SL. I wonder if it's something I'd be capable of in the future, an experience I can learn from, surely.
Ah well, this whole thing has me turned on my head - literally! Bah dum ching!
